MARCH 26, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Puerto Rico's Tax Shelters for Wealthy Executives. Impact: In a bizarre twist of fate, the affluent executives flocking to Puerto Rico created a secret society known as the 'Taxcation Club,' which eventually sparked a global movement for tax-friendly vacation spots, leading to the establishment of 'Tax Havens on Mars' in 2075. Who knew tax shelters could lead to interplanetary vacations?. Fact: Did you know that tax breaks for the rich are about as popular as a root canal? But hey, at least the rich get to enjoy their vacation homes while the rest of us enjoy our 'staycations' in the land of generic ramen noodles..
• Headline: Court Skepticism in Drug Payment Case. Impact: The Supreme Court's skepticism led to the rise of a new form of underground drug cartel—'Pharma Pirates.' Their motto? 'Why pay for drugs when you can pay for the right to question their legality?' This group, surprisingly, gained a massive following on social media.. Fact: Did you know that questioning the legality of drug payments is just like asking if pineapple belongs on pizza? The debates are endless, and the answers are always controversial!.
• Headline: Bill Clinton's Defense of Marriage Evolution. Impact: Bill Clinton's shift on gay marriage set off a chain reaction of political transformations, with future politicians feeling pressured to publicly change their views on various topics. This culminated in 2040 when a presidential candidate endorsed pizza as a vegetable to win the youth vote.. Fact: Did you know that Bill Clinton once played the saxophone on national TV? Who knew he would eventually strum the strings of societal change instead?.
• Headline: Rise in Sexual Assaults in Egypt Sets Off Clash Over Blame. Impact: The surge in sexual assaults and the ensuing blame game sparked a global movement that led to the establishment of 'The Blame Game Olympics,' where lawmakers compete for the gold in victim-blaming. Spoiler alert: it’s never a good look.. Fact: Did you know that turning to media to tell your story can sometimes be more effective than therapy? At least you get to air your grievances in public and potentially win a Pulitzer!.