MARCH 3, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Understanding the Border Security Debate. Impact: As the U.S.-Mexico border debates raged on, a butterfly flapped its wings in Texas, causing two rival taco trucks to become the champions of border unity, inadvertently starting a food festival that ignited international relations through salsa contests.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complex than U.S.-Mexico border security is trying to understand the plot of 'Inception'? At least the latter has a clear ending..
• Headline: Impact of Spending Cuts on Virginia. Impact: Virginia's economic struggles led to a new wave of artisanal coffee shops opening up, which, in a bizarre twist of fate, became the go-to meeting spots for future generations of politicians who couldn't decide whether to brew a latte or just brew more chaos.. Fact: Fun fact: The largest economic hit from spending cuts is often just politicians cutting back on their coffee budgets—because who doesn’t love a good caffeine-fueled debate over budget cuts?.
• Headline: Facebook's Paid Promotions Impact User Sharing. Impact: Facebook's user interaction drop triggered a secret society of cat videos, which ultimately led to a global rise in feline influencers—because clearly, the world needed more cats in power.. Fact: Did you know that Facebook's motto might as well be 'Pay to Play'? It's like a carnival, but instead of rides, you get to watch your friends' brunch photos... if you can afford the ticket..
• Headline: Web Privacy Becomes a Business Imperative. Impact: As web privacy became a business imperative, a secret underground movement was formed to protect data by encrypting all cat videos, leading to a massive spike in demand for cybersecurity experts who could also juggle.. Fact: Did you know that 'privacy' in the digital age is like unicorns? Everyone claims to want it, but no one can actually seem to find it anywhere..
• Headline: A Museum’s Games Are Not on Pedestals. Impact: The Museum of Modern Art's embrace of video games led to a resurgence in the art community, culminating in the first 'Gamer's Gala' where pixels and paintbrushes collided, proving once and for all that Mario can, in fact, be considered a modern masterpiece.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more controversial than whether video games are art is whether pineapple belongs on pizza. Spoiler alert: it does, just like video games belong in museums..