FEBRUARY 20, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Boeing's 787 Storage Dilemma. Impact: If Boeing hadn't had a parking problem, they might never have invented the flying car, leading us all to an alternate timeline where traffic jams are just a thing of the past... or maybe everyone just ends up in the sky, fighting over air lanes.. Fact: Did you know that Boeing's Dreamliner was originally designed to be a 'dream'? But instead, it gave everyone a nightmare about parking..
• Headline: The Fall of Monsignor Kevin Wallin. Impact: Monsignor Wallin's fall from grace could very well lead to a worldwide crackdown on holy figures moonlighting as drug lords, forever altering the landscape of organized religion and its side hustles.. Fact: Fun fact: If only Monsignor Wallin had chosen to deal in holy water instead, he might still have his congregation and a healthier revenue stream..
• Headline: Exploring Life on a College Campus. Impact: The rise of 'goal-oriented' college students may lead to a future where everyone is so busy mapping their lives that they forget how to, you know, live them, ultimately resulting in a society of hyper-efficient zombies.. Fact: Did you know that 'Whatever' is actually the most popular response among college students? It’s like their version of 'I’ll think about it later'… which is basically never..
• Headline: Fast New Test Could Find Leprosy Before Damage Is Lasting. Impact: This new test might just lead to the eradication of leprosy, opening the floodgates for scientists to finally allocate more funding toward curing all diseases that sound like they belong in a medieval story.. Fact: Did you know that leprosy was once so feared that people were literally banished from society? Imagine if we treated the common cold like that—everyone would be living in a bubble..
• Headline: Battle Lines Drawn for BP’s Day in Court. Impact: The fallout from BP's court cases could inspire future oil companies to invest in renewable energy, leading to a timeline where the phrase 'fossil fuels' refers only to the actual fossils in the ground.. Fact: Did you know that BP stands for 'Beyond Petroleum'? Ironically, they might need to start living up to that slogan before everyone else does..