FEBRUARY 14, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Challenges for Small Businesses Persist. Impact: If small businesses had thrived instead of struggling, we might have seen a world where everyone works at quirky shops selling artisanal pickles and handmade soap, reducing the demand for boring corporate jobs. The societal shift could have led to an epidemic of hipster beards and gluten-free diets dominating the landscape.. Fact: Did you know that 90% of startups fail? So, statistically speaking, your chances of running a successful small business are about as good as finding a unicorn in your backyard..
• Headline: Steve Madden's Remarkable Comeback. Impact: Steve Madden's return to the fashion scene caused a ripple effect, inspiring a generation of felons to think they could run luxury brands too. Next thing you know, 'Prison Chic' becomes the hottest trend, and we see jumpsuits paired with designer sneakers on every runway.. Fact: Fun fact: Madden’s prison sentence was almost as long as the time it takes for people to decide which shoes to wear. Talk about a long time to think about your fashion choices!.
• Headline: In High-Tech Japan, the Fax Machines Roll On. Impact: The stubbornness of Japan to hold onto fax machines might just be the reason why we haven’t been invaded by robot overlords yet. Their resistance to upgraded technology keeps them grounded in the past, creating a timeline where Skynet is perpetually delayed due to fax machine malfunctions.. Fact: Did you know that in Japan, the fax machine is still a symbol of trust? Apparently, nothing says 'I believe in you' like sending a document through a machine that jams more often than a teenager’s playlist..
• Headline: Obama Bid for Europe Trade Pact Stirs Hope on Both Sides. Impact: If Obama's trade pact had succeeded, it could have led to a world where American and European goods were so intertwined that we’d have hybrid foods like the ‘Euramerican Cheeseburger’, causing a culinary revolution that would confuse the taste buds of millions.. Fact: Did you know that free trade agreements are often as popular as a root canal? But hey, who doesn’t love the idea of cheaper goods alongside endless debates about economic policies?.