JANUARY 15, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Apple Faces Dilemma Over iPhone Pricing. Impact: If Apple had decided to go cheap back then, the butterfly effect might have led to a world where everyone is carrying around budget iPhones—each one a gateway to an alternate reality where the phrase 'there's an app for that' means absolutely nothing.. Fact: Did you know that the first iPhone was so revolutionary that it made every other phone look like it was designed in the Stone Age? Ah, nostalgia..
• Headline: Hollywood's Strategy to Access China’s Market. Impact: Hollywood’s pandering to censors may have created an alternate timeline where every blockbuster requires an extra ‘Censor Edit’ version, leading to a world where plot twists are replaced by obligatory panda sidekicks.. Fact: Did you know that in one alternate reality, instead of 'The Lion King', we now have 'The Panda King'? All thanks to Hollywood's desire to please!.
• Headline: Facebook's Search Ambitions and Challenges. Impact: Had Facebook succeeded in overtaking Google, we might have lived in a world where 'Googling' became a term for posting on Facebook, leading to an absurdity where everyone is 'Facebooking' their way through life, oblivious to the real search engine.. Fact: Fun fact: Facebook's algorithm is so good at finding junk that it could probably locate your ex while simultaneously suggesting you join a support group..
• Headline: Morsi’s Slurs Against Jews Stir Concern. Impact: Morsi’s remarks could have set off a chain reaction of distrust, fracturing alliances and sparking debates that echo through time, proving that sometimes a single slip of the tongue leads to geopolitical rifts that make the Cold War look like a friendly game of chess.. Fact: While Morsi aimed for moderation, history shows that words can sometimes cut deeper than swords. Who knew politics could be so complicated?.
• Headline: The Banker Who Put His Faith in Armstrong. Impact: If Thomas Weisel had chosen a different athlete to back, we might have seen a world where mediocre athletes were swimming in cash, creating a new sports economy based on sheer luck rather than talent.. Fact: Did you know that Lance Armstrong's career can be summarized as 'Win at all costs'—a motto that has led to many other brilliant ideas, like 'Eat cake for breakfast!'.