JANUARY 3, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hillary Clinton's Health Crisis Explained. Impact: If Hillary Clinton hadn't had that blood clot, perhaps she would have invented a secret potion for world peace. Instead, she just gave us more conspiracy theories about her health.. Fact: Doctors said she’d make a full recovery, but what they really meant was, 'We hope she doesn’t start a new political campaign right after this.'.
• Headline: Grass-Roots H.I.V./AIDS Outreach in China. Impact: As grassroots groups gained momentum in HIV/AIDS outreach, they unknowingly paved the way for future viral dance challenges. Who knew community health could lead to TikTok fame?. Fact: Just when you thought government officials were all bad guys, they decided to let these groups do their thing—glad to see they're not always on a power trip!.
• Headline: Fiscal Deal Keeps Key Industry Breaks. Impact: Those obscure provisions in the fiscal deal? They set a precedent for Hollywood's eternal quest for tax breaks, leading to more sequels and remakes than we ever asked for.. Fact: Hollywood getting tax breaks is like giving a kid candy—sure, it’s sweet, but it usually ends in a meltdown!.
• Headline: Energy Shot’s ‘No Crash’ Claim Is Disputed by Watchdog. Impact: The dispute over 5-Hour Energy's claims might have led to the creation of the '5-Hour Nap' movement—because who needs energy when you can just sleep through life?. Fact: Turns out, 'No Crash' is the slogan for both the drink and my hopes for a productive day..
• Headline: Piecing Together a Tax Plan’s Effects. Impact: Raising taxes on the wealthy might have inadvertently inspired a new wave of 'rich people problems' memes—because what’s more relatable than complaining about taxes?. Fact: If you thought paying taxes was thrilling, wait until you hear about the tax code—it's the real-life equivalent of a never-ending soap opera!.