DECEMBER 29, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Nutcracker's Sugar Plum Roles. Impact: The New York City Ballet's evolution in roles may have inadvertently inspired a generation of dancers who will one day overthrow reality TV with a new ballet-themed show, 'So You Think You Can Dance (On Point)'.. Fact: Sugar plums are actually not a type of fruit, but rather a delightful figment of a writer's imagination. Clearly, someone had a sweet tooth and too much time on their hands..
• Headline: Seattle's Diverse History Unveiled. Impact: The Seattle History & Industry Museum's relocation may have planted the seeds for future anarchist-led museum exhibits, launching the trend of 'Unconventional History' that will confuse generations to come.. Fact: Boeing, anarchists, and 'Frasier' in one place? Sounds like the plot of a sitcom that never got greenlit, or maybe a really confusing therapy session..
• Headline: A.J. Green's Remarkable NFL Journey. Impact: A. J. Green's humility may have caused a ripple effect where future NFL players start adopting zen practices, leading to the first-ever 'Namaste Bowl' that combines yoga and football—because why not?. Fact: In a world full of trash-talking athletes, A. J. Green is like the philosophical monk of the NFL. Next, he'll be handing out 'Teamwork Makes the Dream Work' posters..
• Headline: Hurricane Sandy Alters Utilities’ Calculus on Upgrades. Impact: Hurricane Sandy's wake-up call inspired utility companies to create a new 'Disaster Preparedness Task Force', which will later lead to a cult-like following of survivalist utility workers who can fix anything with duct tape.. Fact: Utility companies finally deciding to upgrade after a disaster is like deciding to clean your room only after you’ve lost something important. A classic case of 'better late than never'!.
• Headline: A Record Worth Wilting For: Death Valley Is Hotter Than .... Impact: Death Valley's record-breaking heat may have inadvertently inspired a global trend of extreme heat tourism, where people flock to the hottest places on earth just to post about it on social media—because nothing says 'living your best life' like sweating buckets.. Fact: Death Valley: where even the plants have given up and decided that wilting is the new thriving. Who knew being the hottest place on Earth could be so 'cool'?.