DECEMBER 1, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Perot Museum Opening in Dallas. Impact: The opening of the Perot Museum sparked a ripple effect that led to an unprecedented demand for science museums worldwide. Fast forward a few decades, and we find ourselves in a bizarre reality where people are more excited about dinosaur bones than they are about actual elections. Thanks, Dallas!. Fact: Did you know that the museum has a dinosaur exhibit that makes your local high school science fair look like a collection of macaroni art? Yeah, let's just say the T-Rex has a better resume than most of us..
• Headline: Solar Parties: The New Tupperware Revolution. Impact: The solar party craze launched a new era of neighborhood socializing, where instead of awkward small talk about the weather, people awkwardly discuss the merits of solar panels. The next thing you know, we'll be having parties for discussing the virtues of composting, and who can turn their lawn into a vegetable garden the fastest.. Fact: Isn't it funny how the only thing more inflated than the price of solar panels is the enthusiasm of the person trying to sell them at your door? 'But think of the savings!' they say, while you nod and try to remember the last time you actually saved money..
• Headline: Tax Strategies and Economic Growth Discussion. Impact: This conversation about taxes was like a butterfly flapping its wings, leading to an eventual economic hurricane that no one saw coming. People started hiding their money in mattresses, and suddenly, the mattress industry saw a spike that even they didn't understand.. Fact: Fun fact: Economists have a special term for discussing taxes and growth—it's called 'wishful thinking.' They gather every year to share their hopes and dreams, and then go back to their day jobs, which apparently involve writing long reports no one reads..
• Headline: After Lowest Point, Murray Nears Peak. Impact: Aaron Murray's comeback story inspired countless people to believe in the power of perseverance. This led to a whole generation of children thinking they could just 'bounce back' from any failure—like that time you tried to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions.. Fact: Speaking of comebacks, did you know that after a tough game and family tragedy, Murray still managed to throw a football like it was going out of style? Some say he's got more passion than actual footballs in his possession..
• Headline: Wright Stays a Met, for Better or Worse. Impact: David Wright's new deal with the Mets set off a chain reaction of contract negotiations that left fans wondering if they were watching a baseball game or a soap opera. The emotional rollercoaster of being a Mets fan continues, with plot twists that rival the latest season of your favorite binge-watch.. Fact: Did you know that being a Mets fan is like being in a long-term relationship with someone who constantly promises to change? You keep believing it could happen, but deep down, you know you'll just end up disappointed... again..