NOVEMBER 14, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Financial Preparedness for Natural Disasters. Impact: If only people had taken those finance lessons more seriously, maybe the stock market wouldn't have decided to take a nosedive after every storm. But hey, at least the investment in panic rooms went up! Who knew disasters could boost the home security industry?. Fact: Hurricane Sandy was so bad that even the weather had to make an apology tour. Sorry, folks, no sunshine this week!.
• Headline: Waste-to-Fuel Revolution Approaches Key Milestone. Impact: Imagine a world where fuel from waste became the norm—your leftovers powering your car instead of going to the landfill. We'd have a population of hipsters driving around in biofuel-powered vehicles, all while sipping their artisanal lattes made from reclaimed beans. Talk about a waste of time!. Fact: If you think about it, humanity has been making fuel from waste since someone first discovered fermentation. Cheers!.
• Headline: On the New Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Eggs and a Mortgage. Impact: As people turned to retailers for financial products, banks realized they could just sit back and watch the chaos unfold. Forget customer service; let’s just sell them life insurance while they’re at it. Seems legit!. Fact: Now you can buy everything from groceries to a mortgage at Walmart. Next up: buying a house in the frozen pizza aisle!.
• Headline: Tampa Is Seen as Social Link for Unfolding Scandal. Impact: Oh, the scandal involving Petraeus and Kelley was just the beginning. Who knew that one social liaison could lead to a series of political dramas that'd make soap operas look like a family reunion? Talk about setting off a chain reaction!. Fact: This scandal taught us that being a socialite has its perks—like being directly involved in national security issues. Next, they'll be casting reality shows based on military secrets!.