OCTOBER 9, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ireland's Housing Initiative for Stability. Impact: If Ireland's housing initiative fails, it could lead to a generation of Irish people living in their parents' basements while perfecting their pub quiz skills. If it succeeds, other countries might start emulating it, leading to a new world order where housing is a basic right, instead of a privilege only accessible to those who can afford avocado toast.. Fact: Did you know that in Ireland, the phrase 'housing crisis' has become synonymous with 'let's just keep building more pubs instead'?.
• Headline: First Black Winner of South African Idol. Impact: The surprise of a Black 'Idol' in South Africa could lead to a cultural renaissance, where every singing competition is evaluated for its diversity, resulting in future winners being chosen more for their backgrounds than their vocal talent, possibly creating a new genre of 'identity music.'. Fact: Fun fact: In South Africa, the only thing more scrutinized than a singing competition is how many times someone can say 'it's not about race' before the irony becomes unbearable..
• Headline: Supreme Court Reviews College Admissions Case. Impact: The outcome of Abigail Fisher's case could either solidify the foundations of affirmative action or toss them into a black hole of legal ambiguity, leading to generations of students arguing about their college admissions like it’s the new Olympic sport.. Fact: Did you know that the Supreme Court's favorite pastime is turning complex social issues into legal dramas? It’s like Law & Order, but with more robes and less charisma..
• Headline: Welcoming Higher Taxes, but Not That High. Impact: If France's proposed 75% tax goes through, it could create a new wave of rich people fleeing to tax havens, leading to a global shortage of baguettes as the wealthy attempt to buy their way into tax-free utopias.. Fact: Fun fact: French billionaires protesting higher taxes is like a group of cats protesting the absence of fish—they just can’t see the irony in their own plight..