OCTOBER 8, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Judge Garaufis' Shift on Minority Support. Impact: If Judge Garaufis had stuck to his original opinion, it's possible that future judges would have created a new sport: ‘Judicial Gymnastics’ where opinions are twisted to fit the narrative. Thankfully, he chose to evolve instead. Who knows, maybe he saved a future generation from legal acrobatics.. Fact: Judges changing opinions is like that friend who keeps updating their Spotify playlists—always evolving but never quite sure what they really like..
• Headline: Carlson's Digital Strategy Takess Off. Impact: Tucker Carlson's clickbait strategy could lead to an alternate reality where all news is simply a series of outrageous headlines, and people only subscribe to news outlets for their meme potential. Welcome to the age of the information circus!. Fact: In an alternate universe, Tucker Carlson is actually just a cat meme influencer. The world is a much simpler place there..
• Headline: Obama's Team Strategizes for Debate Comeback. Impact: If Obama’s aides hadn't plotted their comeback, the entire political landscape might have shifted, resulting in a timeline where Biden debates a hologram of George Washington. Talk about a historic showdown!. Fact: Debate preparations are basically the political equivalent of cramming for a final exam—except the stakes are slightly higher than just your GPA..