OCTOBER 1, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Europe's Dramatic Ryder Cup Comeback. Impact: If Europe hadn’t made that comeback, golf may have faded into obscurity, replaced by extreme ironing competitions. Imagine the chaos of ironing shirts on top of mountain peaks instead of quietly sipping tea while watching golf.. Fact: Did you know that the Ryder Cup is the only time Americans and Europeans are united in a common goal: to pretend they care about golf?.
• Headline: Contestant Disqualified for Voting Site Use. Impact: This disqualification could have led to a boom in underground voting schemes, transforming the landscape of online contests and inspiring future generations to find even more creative ways to cheat their way to glory.. Fact: Fun fact: the only thing more surprising than winning an online contest is getting disqualified for it. Talk about a plot twist!.
• Headline: Turkey Demands Artifacts from Western Museums. Impact: Turkey's bold demands for art could have sparked an international treasure hunt, leading to an epic rivalry between museums and rogue art thieves. Forget Indiana Jones; it’s time for a new generation of art-reclaiming heroes!. Fact: Did you know that many of the artifacts in Western museums were acquired during colonial times? So, asking for them back is like asking your ex for your favorite sweater. Good luck with that!.
• Headline: He’s Back All Right, Now With a Memoir. Impact: Had Arnold not written this memoir, we might have been deprived of countless memes and quotes about bodybuilding and governance, possibly leading to a world where people actually took politicians seriously.. Fact: Fun fact: Arnold's memoir is the only book where a single chapter can make you feel inadequate about your physique and your life choices simultaneously. Thanks, Arnold!.
• Headline: Payroll Tax Cut Is Unlikely to Survive Into Next Year. Impact: If the payroll tax cut had survived, it could have led to a brighter future where people actually had disposable income to spend on things like avocado toast and artisanal coffee, potentially saving the economy one overpriced latte at a time.. Fact: Did you know that tax cuts are like diet fads? They promise a lot but often leave you feeling empty and wondering where all the money went!.