SEPTEMBER 27, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Democrats Gain Ground with Super PACs. Impact: The surge of Super PACs for Democrats led to the creation of even more convoluted funding sources, which eventually birthed a new breed of political consultants specializing in 'creative accounting.' This paved the way for a future where elections resemble a game of Monopoly, but with real consequences and even more confusing rules.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more inflated than Super PAC budgets is the egos of those running them? They could probably fund a small country, or at least a really nice yacht..
• Headline: Rebels Challenge Syrian Air Dominance. Impact: The rebels' ability to thwart air attacks not only shifted the balance of power in Syria but also inadvertently inspired a generation of DIY enthusiasts to take up air defense strategies using household items. Who knew that window blinds could be repurposed as makeshift anti-aircraft defenses?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'every little bit helps' has never been more applicable? Even a few rebels denying an airfield can completely alter the course of a war, or at least make for an interesting homework project..
• Headline: Nets' Role in Brooklyn's Atlantic Yards Project. Impact: Bruce C. Ratner's Nets purchase and subsequent Brooklyn project caused a gentrification ripple effect that made artisanal pickles and overpriced coffee a necessity in the area. This ultimately led to a global trend of hipster-centric urban development where the only thing more expensive than rent is the avocado toast.. Fact: Did you know that buying a basketball team can lead to a real estate empire? Forget winning championships; it's all about those sweet, sweet property deals!.
• Headline: Darkness and Death, No Magic to Help. Impact: Rowling’s 'The Casual Vacancy' highlighted societal issues that resonated through time, eventually leading to a slew of novels that aimed to tackle every conceivable social issue. This resulted in an entire genre of books that were just as uplifting as a trip to the dentist.. Fact: Did you know that if you ever feel like your life is a 'casual vacancy,' you can always pick up a book about it? Just be prepared for a bit of darkness, and possibly a dentist appointment..
• Headline: Painting, Rebooted. Impact: Wade Guyton's digital artistry triggered a renaissance in the art world, leading to a future where artists are more likely to be found in front of a computer than a canvas. This eventually resulted in a bizarre future where the Mona Lisa is replaced with a pixelated version made entirely of cat memes.. Fact: Did you know that creating art on a computer is now considered 'high art'? Who needs paint when you have Photoshop and a good Wi-Fi connection?.