SEPTEMBER 20, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Spirit Lake Sioux Child Abuse Scandal Revealed. Impact: Years from now, the Spirit Lake Sioux will become the epicenter of a documentary trend that highlights systemic failures in social services and how not to handle a crisis... because who doesn’t love a good tragedy turned into a Netflix series?. Fact: Did you know that the term 'social services' has been used since the 19th century? Clearly, they still haven't figured out how to actually help people..
• Headline: India's Retail Policy Sparks Debate. Impact: In a surprising twist, welcoming Wal-Mart turns into a nationwide obsession, leading to a bizarre future where every street is lined with superstores and local shops are just a nostalgic memory. Economists will still argue about it though.. Fact: Did you know that Wal-Mart's slogan is 'Save Money. Live Better'? It’s almost like they’re trying to convince us that spending less means we’re living the high life..
• Headline: Apple’s iPhone Update Leaves Out Google’s Maps. Impact: Apple's decision to ditch Google Maps will lead to a future where everyone suddenly realizes they don’t know how to read maps anymore, sparking a fad for old-school navigation skills – like actually asking for directions!. Fact: Did you know that Apple Maps was so bad at launch that it inspired a whole new genre of memes? Who knew bad directions could be so entertaining?.
• Headline: AT&T Chief Speaks Out on Texting at the Wheel. Impact: Randall L. Stephenson’s heartfelt plea against texting while driving will lead to a future where every car is equipped with a 'Do Not Disturb' mode, resulting in a generation that can’t even handle a phone call without a safety net.. Fact: Did you know that texting while driving is six times more likely to result in an accident than driving under the influence? Apparently, some people just can't resist the urge to text 'LOL' instead of 'OMG, I crashed!'.