SEPTEMBER 7, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Rise of Chinese Investment in US Real Estate. Impact: As brokers learned to speak Chinese, they inadvertently created a new wave of real estate-themed karaoke bars in the U.S., where deals are sealed over off-key renditions of love songs. Who knew property values could increase with a little 'Zhuang Yu'?. Fact: Did you know that 'real estate' is just a fancy way of saying 'I promise you this plot of land won't sink'?.
• Headline: Web Businessman Sentenced for Threats. Impact: Borker's prison sentence led to the rise of 'Eyewear Anonymous', a support group for those traumatized by bad online shopping experiences. Now they can bond over their shared horror stories and questionable fashion choices.. Fact: Did you know that threatening customers is a great way to ensure they never come back? Shockingly effective marketing strategy!.
• Headline: Reviving Satire: Forbidden Broadway Returns. Impact: The success of 'Forbidden Broadway' sparked a national trend of satirical revues, leading to the eventual creation of 'Forbidden Politics', where senators sing show tunes about their legislative failures. Spoiler: it doesn't end well.. Fact: Did you know that satire is just a fancy word for 'laughing at things that should probably make you cry'? Welcome to Broadway!.
• Headline: Obama Makes Case for 2nd Term: ‘Harder’ Path to ‘Better Place’. Impact: Obama's push for a second term caused a ripple effect of political memes that would dominate social media for years, leading to the rise of 'ObamaCare' dance parties. Who knew healthcare could be so groovy?. Fact: Did you know that solving decades-long challenges in just four years is like trying to bake a cake in a microwave? Good luck with that!.