AUGUST 25, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: HSBC's Controversial Cash Transactions. Impact: If HSBC hadn't been laundering money, perhaps drug cartels would have started a new career in artisanal cheese-making, thus changing the global dairy market forever. Who knew money laundering had such a cheesy side effect?. Fact: Did you know that HSBC stands for 'Hongkong and Shanghai Banking Corporation'? It certainly doesn't stand for 'Helping Suspected Criminals Breathe.'.
• Headline: Workplace Rivalry Ends in Tragedy. Impact: The fatal shooting outside the Empire State Building led to a renewed interest in workplace conflict resolution. If only they had known that 'talk it out' was a better solution than 'shoot it out.'. Fact: Fun fact: The Empire State Building has been the scene of over 30 movies, but sadly, none have focused on effective communication strategies..
• Headline: Catcher's Struggles and Triumphs at Bat. Impact: This slump in performance could have inspired a new trend in baseball where catchers start their own motivational speaking tours. 'How to Catch and Still Crush It' could've become a bestseller!. Fact: Did you know that catchers are the only players who can call their own shots? Too bad they can't call their way out of a slump!.
• Headline: Romney in Crisis: Two Dark Spots in Fortunate Life. Impact: The car crash and health struggles faced by Ann Romney might have inspired a new political narrative around resilience. We could have had a whole genre of 'overcoming adversity' campaign ads—oh wait, we already do!. Fact: Did you know Mitt Romney once said, 'I like being able to fire people'? Guess that attitude didn’t help his character development much during those dark spots!.
• Headline: For Boston, a Swap of Problems for Potential. Impact: This trade could have sparked a trend where teams start swapping problems like they were Pokémon cards. 'I'll trade you my overpaid pitcher for your disgruntled outfielder!'. Fact: Did you know that the Red Sox and Dodgers trade was so confusing, even historians are still trying to piece together who got the better deal? Spoiler: it was probably the team with the less expensive players..