AUGUST 23, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Stalled Reforms for Money Market Funds. Impact: When the money market funds stalled, it created a ripple effect, leading to the rise of bizarre financial products like the potato-based cryptocurrency. Thanks, 2008 crisis!. Fact: Did you know that money market funds are like the 'bored kids in class' of finance? They just sit there, collecting dust, while the real action happens elsewhere!.
• Headline: Home Sales Show Promising Increase in July. Impact: The slight revival in home sales set off a chain reaction where people started painting their living rooms and haggling over avocado toast prices—because obviously, that’s where the real value lies.. Fact: Fun fact: Home sales are like a roller coaster! Up one month, down the next, and always leaving you a little queasy about your financial decisions..
• Headline: Exelon Corporation's Obama Administration Connection. Impact: Exelon’s cozy relationship with Obama led to a future where politicians became the new rock stars of the corporate world. Next thing you know, we’ll see campaign rallies with power suits and electric guitar solos.. Fact: Did you know that having ties to the administration is like having a VIP pass at a concert? Except instead of backstage, you get to influence energy policy and potentially ruin the planet..
• Headline: Silicon Valley Techies Fight to Save a Popular but Illegal Haven. Impact: The fight to save the illegal tech haven may have inspired future generations of techies to create even more ludicrous workspaces. Next up? A floating office on inflatable flamingos!. Fact: Did you know that in Silicon Valley, the less legal your workspace, the cooler it is? It's like 'Fight Club' but with startups and vegan snacks!.
• Headline: Tiny Hawaiian Island Will See if New Owner Tilts at Windmills. Impact: Larry Ellison’s purchase of the tiny Hawaiian island could lead to an unexpected trend of billionaires buying up islands, sparking a new reality show: 'Survivor: Wealthy Edition.'. Fact: Did you know that owning an island is the adult version of having a treehouse? Except instead of neighborhood kids, you have exotic animals and a personal chef..