JULY 28, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: British Circus: A Daring Spectacle Unleashed. Impact: The circus extravaganza sparked an unexpected trend where every country felt compelled to outdo Britain's bizarre display, leading to a worldwide competition of increasingly absurd public spectacles. Spoiler alert: it ended with a synchronized swimming event featuring llamas.. Fact: Did you know that the Sex Pistols were originally going to perform with a bunch of tap-dancing flamingos, but they were deemed 'too mainstream'?.
• Headline: Mysterious Benefactor in Queens Politics. Impact: The mysterious donor's influence led to a secret society of political backers, culminating in a bizarre game of 'who can donate the weirdest item for political favors.' The winning item? A collection of antique spoons from the Queen's kitchen.. Fact: Did you know that if you donate a spoon, you're not just a benefactor but also a potential new member of the 'Spoon Society'? Membership includes a monthly tea party with questionable political decisions..
• Headline: Drillers in Utah Have a Friend in a U.S. Land Agency. Impact: The cozy relationship between drillers and the land agency created a ripple effect that made 'drilling buddies' the hottest new trend in local government. Soon, local officials were seen wearing matching 'Drill & Chill' t-shirts at community events, much to the dismay of concerned citizens.. Fact: Did you know that the Bureau of Land Management’s motto is 'Let them drill!'? Just kidding, their actual motto is 'We manage your land, but drillers take priority!'.
• Headline: Apple Officials Said to Consider Stake in Twitter. Impact: This potential investment led Apple to develop a new social media platform called 'iTwit,' where users could only tweet from an iPhone while standing on one leg. The platform flopped, but it did inspire a whole new generation of yoga enthusiasts.. Fact: Did you know that Apple was considering a stake in Twitter just to beat their competition, but they ultimately decided that inventing the iToilet was a better investment?.