JULY 19, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: GM Pension Buyout Dilemma for Retirees. Impact: The pension buyout decision led to retirees investing their lump sums in wildly extravagant hobbies, like competitive knitting and extreme ironing, which inadvertently created a booming market for overpriced yarn and ironing boards.. Fact: Did you know that the average retiree thinks 'pension buyout' is just a fancy way of saying 'here's your money, good luck not spending it all on lottery tickets'?.
• Headline: Rebels Master Improvised Explosive Devices. Impact: The rebels' new bomb-making skills inadvertently inspired a wave of DIY tutorials on YouTube, resulting in a global trend of 'explosive' home improvement projects that had nothing to do with warfare.. Fact: Did you know that some of these bomb-making tutorials are more popular than cooking shows? Apparently, 'how to blow things up' has a higher view count than 'how to bake cookies.'.
• Headline: Years of Unraveling, Then Bankruptcy for a City. Impact: Stockton's bankruptcy led to a nationwide trend of cities declaring bankruptcy as a cry for attention, sparking a new reality TV show called 'Bankrupt and Fabulous.'. Fact: Did you know that declaring bankruptcy is the adult equivalent of throwing a tantrum in a grocery store—except instead of candy, you get financial advisors?.
• Headline: Hezbollah Is Blamed for Attack on Israeli Tourists in Bulgaria. Impact: The attack on Israeli tourists ignited a global debate on travel safety, resulting in travelers developing an irrational fear of tour buses, leading to a boom in bike tours, which no one saw coming.. Fact: Did you know that this tragic event also inadvertently made 'biking to the beach' the new trend among tourists? Who knew fear could lead to fitness?.