JULY 12, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: E15 Ethanol Gaining Popularity in Kansas. Impact: The push for a stronger ethanol mix could eventually lead to a future where we fuel our cars with corn and complain about how our gas smells like popcorn. Talk about a buttery future!. Fact: Fun fact: Ethanol is basically just party fuel for your car. Just think, if cars could talk, they’d probably be begging for a drink more than you at happy hour..
• Headline: Impact of Fiscal Uncertainty on Growth. Impact: The fear of a fiscal stalemate might have set off a chain reaction, causing every politician to start hoarding toilet paper as if it were 2020 all over again. Next up, a black market for staplers?. Fact: Economists: the only people who can make a party out of spreadsheets and tax cuts. They’re basically the introverts of the financial world..
• Headline: Not in the Convention, but Still Part of Comic-Con. Impact: The struggle for space at Comic-Con might have inadvertently led to the creation of ‘Comic-Con: The Escape Room’, where fans must solve puzzles just to get their hands on limited edition comics. Who’s ready for a good mystery?. Fact: In a twist of irony, the convention center expansion meant less space for exhibitors but more room for creative thinking. Talk about a ‘thinking outside the box’ situation—where the box is a very tight space..
• Headline: For a Soaring Political Career, Uncertain Turns. Impact: Jesse L. Jackson Jr.'s struggles might lead to a future where politicians are required to take 'mental health days', giving rise to a new age of honest governance. At least we’d know they’re not just hiding from the press!. Fact: Having a mood disorder as a politician is like being the only sober person at a wild party: everyone thinks you’re judging them, but really, you just need a nap..