JULY 8, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Premier Wen Jiabao Calls for Economic Action. Impact: Wen Jiabao's call to action triggered a chain reaction that sent China on a quest for economic dominance, ultimately leading to the invention of the world's most complicated factory assembly line. Now, they can produce everything from smartphones to existential crises in record time.. Fact: The only thing faster than China's economic growth is the speed at which your phone battery drains..
• Headline: Libya's Election Results Shift Political Dynamics. Impact: The surprising election results in Libya not only shook the political landscape but also inadvertently led to a boom in Western-educated political scientists moonlighting as life coaches. Who knew parsing party platforms could be so therapeutic?. Fact: Libya's political climate is so unpredictable, even their weather forecast includes a chance of civil unrest..
• Headline: Egypt’s President Orders Return of Parliament. Impact: Morsi's bold move to reinstate parliament inadvertently inspired a global trend of politicians ordering takeout during crucial meetings—because if you're going to confront the military, you might as well do it on a full stomach.. Fact: In Egypt, 'parliament' is just a fancy word for 'the place where everyone argues while forgetting to vote.'.
• Headline: Federer Beats Murray, and Britain, for Seventh Wimbledon Title. Impact: Federer's victory not only secured his place in tennis history but also triggered a national crisis in Britain as they realized they had to find someone else to blame for their sports failures—leading to a surge in competitive biscuit-eating contests.. Fact: The last time Britain had a men's singles champion, people still believed that the internet was just a passing fad..