JUNE 14, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rajat Gupta's High-Profile Insider Trial. Impact: The trial of Rajat K. Gupta unleashed a ripple effect that led to a sudden surge in conspiracy theories about Wall Street. Urban legends about Wall Street executives using secret codes to communicate during board meetings began to circulate, leading to the popularization of 'executive interpretive dance' as a new form of corporate communication.. Fact: Did you know that 'insider trading' was once just a polite way of saying 'I have a friend who knows a guy'?.
• Headline: Russia's Helicopter Shipment to Syria Explained. Impact: This helicopter debacle may have inadvertently inspired a generation of hipsters to start a new trend: 'Helicopter Maintenance Parties,' where people gather to fix their own toy helicopters and sip artisanal coffee while discussing geopolitical maneuverings.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'routine maintenance' can also mean 'let's look busy while we do absolutely nothing of importance'?.
• Headline: Youth Football Reduces Contact in Practices. Impact: Reducing contact in youth football practices could lead to a sudden rise in alternative youth sports, like competitive knitting or underwater basket weaving, as parents frantically search for safer extracurriculars. Watch out, the Olympics might be featuring knitting by 2036!. Fact: Did you know that in the 80s, youth football practices featured a 'no pain, no gain' philosophy? Now it's more like 'no pain, please!'.
• Headline: New Club, but a Legend’s Familiar Face. Impact: Patti LuPone's show helped catapult cabaret back into the mainstream, causing a bizarre resurgence of 1920s flapper culture, complete with fringe dresses and jazz hands, appearing in coffee shops across America. Just wait until you see the barista with a feather boa!. Fact: Did you know that 54 Below is the only place where you can hear a Broadway star sing while simultaneously judging your cocktail choice?.
• Headline: How Broccoli Landed on Supreme Court Menu. Impact: The broccoli analogy in health care debates led to a nationwide obsession with green vegetables, causing a bizarre trend where people started naming their pets after them. Be prepared for a future where 'Broccoli' is the most popular dog name!. Fact: Did you know that broccoli was once seen as the 'bad boy' of vegetables, with a notorious reputation for being the vegetable kids avoided at all costs?.