JUNE 5, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Debate Over Solar Panel Payment Fairness. Impact: Imagine a world where everyone decided to go solar after this debate. Suddenly, the sun became the most popular energy source, leading to a global shortage of sunglasses and a spike in sunburn-related injuries. Thanks, fairness debate!. Fact: Did you know that debating fairness is just as productive as debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza? Spoiler: it does..
• Headline: Cuomo Ally's $2 Million Gambling Fund. Impact: This generous donation set off a chain reaction where every politician suddenly became a high-stakes poker player, convinced they could out-bet each other in the game of public favor. Spoiler alert: they lost.. Fact: Fun fact: If you give a politician $2 million, they may just give you a shiny new casino license. Or, you know, a bridge to nowhere..
• Headline: Germany Is Open to Pooling Debt, With Conditions. Impact: Germany's willingness to pool debt could have led to a European superhero team, 'The Fiscal Avengers,' saving the day one bailout at a time. Too bad they only had 'conditions' on their superpowers.. Fact: Did you know that pooling debt is just like a potluck dinner? Everyone brings their financial woes, but somehow, the Germans always end up with the best dishes..