JUNE 2, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cuomo's Queens Convention Center Project Collapses. Impact: If Cuomo had succeeded, the convention center would have become the epicenter for a new wave of political back-scratching, leading to the world's first Casino-Politician hybrid, forever changing how we envision corruption.. Fact: Did you know that a $4 billion plan can collapse faster than a poorly built house of cards? Just ask Cuomo!.
• Headline: Economic Shift Influences Presidential Campaigns. Impact: This economic slowdown sparked a heated debate that ultimately ended in a game of charades between candidates, leading to the invention of the first ever presidential mime performance.. Fact: Politicians often talk about growth as if it’s a magic trick. Spoiler alert: it’s usually just smoke and mirrors!.
• Headline: Santana's Historic No-Hitter for Mets. Impact: This no-hitter catalyzed a chain reaction that resulted in the birth of a new superhero: 'The No-Hitter Man,' who now travels through time, helping pitchers avoid injuries while still racking up records.. Fact: Throwing a no-hitter is like finding a unicorn in the wild; rare, magical, and definitely not something you want to push your luck with!.
• Headline: New Rules for Money Transfers, but Few Limits. Impact: These new rules led to the rise of a secret underground society of money-transfer ninjas, who now operate in the shadows, transferring money in ways no one can understand.. Fact: Regulations are like diets: everyone talks about them, but few actually follow through. And we all know how that ends!.