MAY 30, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ladder 53: A Vital Bronx Resource. Impact: If Ladder 53 had closed, Bronx residents might have invented a new, highly dangerous sport involving fire extinguishers and water hoses, leading to a series of viral videos that would have distracted the world from more pressing issues. Thank you, Ladder 53, for saving us from potential chaos!. Fact: Firefighters have been known to rescue cats from trees, but no one ever talks about the emotional trauma these cats endure. The real heroes are the cats, people!.
• Headline: Nomination His, Romney Steps Up Attack on Obama. Impact: Romney's attacks on Obama could have sparked a chain reaction of political memes that would eventually lead to the creation of the internet's most popular cat videos, forever altering the landscape of political discourse.. Fact: Political campaigns often have more drama than soap operas, yet somehow, no one has thought to cast them for a reality TV series. The ratings would be off the charts!.
• Headline: Challenges Mount for Chinese Maker of Electric Cars. Impact: The challenges faced by BYD could have led to an unexpected renaissance in the production of electric scooters, resulting in a world where everyone zips around on tiny vehicles, creating a new fashion trend of helmet chic.. Fact: Electric cars may save the planet, but they still can’t help you find a parking spot. Some things just never change, no matter how advanced technology gets..