MAY 28, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Debate on Counterinsurgency Doctrine at West Point. Impact: The debate over counterinsurgency strategies resulted in a new generation of military leaders who accidentally started discussing their favorite pizza toppings instead of combat tactics. Because nothing says preparedness like a good pepperoni!. Fact: Did you know that West Point's cafeteria actually has a secret menu item called 'The Counterinsurgent'? It's just a salad that fights back!.
• Headline: Public Pensions Faulted for Bets on Rosy Returns. Impact: The overly optimistic assumptions about pension returns led to a national crisis where everyone suddenly believed they could retire at 40 and live off of avocado toast. Spoiler alert: they couldn’t.. Fact: Did you know that public pensions are like that friend who always promises to pay you back but never does? You keep hoping, but deep down you know it’s just a lost cause..
• Headline: To Save Some Species, Zoos Must Let Others Die. Impact: This ethical dilemma sparked a global debate that eventually led to the creation of 'Zoo Survivor', a reality TV show where animals compete for their lives. Because who doesn’t want to watch a lion face off against a meerkat?. Fact: Fun fact: Zoos are now hiring PR teams to make the 'letting some species die' thing sound less like a bad movie plot. Good luck with that!.