APRIL 28, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Historic Senate Race in Virginia. Impact: The fierce rivalry between Allen and Kaine led to a political arms race in Virginia, which ultimately inspired a new reality show: 'The Real Politicians of Virginia'. Reality TV, in turn, gave rise to a generation convinced that political debates should be judged based on their ability to pull off a dramatic monologue.. Fact: Did you know that if you put both of these governors in a room, they would probably still argue about who had the better hair?.
• Headline: Revolutionizing TV with App Integration. Impact: The search for television apps sparked the invention of binge-watching, leading to humanity’s greatest dilemma: whether to watch one more episode or go to bed. Spoiler alert: bed loses every time.. Fact: Ironically, while searching for apps, the industry forgot to add a 'pause your life' button to the remote..
• Headline: Cuomo's Historic Claims and Actions. Impact: Cuomo's insistence on making history turned into a viral meme, leading to the rise of historians who only tweet in hashtags. This inadvertently caused the decline of traditional history books, as they couldn't compete with the urgency of a trending topic.. Fact: Fun fact: Cuomo's version of history is so 'unique' that historians are now considering including it in a new genre called 'fiction.'.
• Headline: Desperately Seeking Quarterback Stoppers. Impact: The NFL's draft strategy for defensive players led to an unexpected influx of training camps for aspiring defensive coaches, who now have their own reality show titled 'Defensive Line: The Untold Struggle'.. Fact: In a surprising twist, defensive linemen have discovered that stopping quarterbacks is much harder than stopping their own snack cravings during halftime..