APRIL 21, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Obama's Campaign Faces Funding Challenges. Impact: Obama's cash crunch could have led to a new trend in political fundraising: bake sales and car washes. Imagine presidential candidates in aprons, selling cookies outside the White House!. Fact: Fun fact: 'Grass-roots support' is just a fancy way of saying 'please send us your spare change and maybe a sandwich if you have one.'.
• Headline: Venezuelan Food Shortages and Price Controls. Impact: Venezuela's food shortages might have inspired a new culinary trend where people brag about their 'minimalist diets' of air and imagination, leading to a hipster food revolution.. Fact: Who needs milk when you can just drink the sweet nectar of despair? It’s the latest in gourmet trends!.
• Headline: White Gloves Not Needed. Impact: If Jeremy Bernard hadn't been so good at his job, we might be living in a world where White House parties are thrown by clowns and magicians instead of dignified social secretaries. Talk about a circus!. Fact: White House social secretaries are like ninjas of etiquette—silent but deadly when it comes to ensuring no one embarrasses the President with a rogue dance move..
• Headline: The Lyric Little Bandbox Turns 100. Impact: If Fenway Park had changed too much, we could have lost the charm of home runs flying into the stands, and baseball fans might have revolted, starting a movement to protect 'historical integrity' by wearing wool suits and top hats.. Fact: Fenway Park’s atmosphere is like a fine wine: it only gets better with age, and a little bit of nostalgia makes it taste even sweeter—just don’t spill any on the seats!.