APRIL 15, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: NATO's Air Campaign Critiqued. Impact: The notion that NATO couldn't manage a simple BBQ without the U.S. led to a global shortage of hot dogs in 2013. Who knew that military strategy could impact summer cookouts?. Fact: NATO's air campaigns have often been so effective that they might as well come with a 5-star Yelp rating—except for this one..
• Headline: Google's Fine for Data Inquiry Obstruction. Impact: Google's fine led to a secret underground movement of data-collecting squirrels who now have more personal data than the government. Watch out for their next app: 'SquirrelView'.. Fact: The $25,000 fine was essentially pocket change for Google. They probably found it in the couch cushions while searching for their next acquisition..
• Headline: Big Donors Gain Access to the White House. Impact: This opened the floodgates for lobbyists, resulting in a future where the White House had to install a revolving door, leading to an unprecedented shortage of door stoppers in Washington D.C.. Fact: Turns out, if you give enough money, you can literally walk into the White House. It's the only place where cash is truly king..
• Headline: Senators Win, but Only After a Few Angry Shots. Impact: The angry shots fired during the game led to a new trend: 'Angry Sports'—where fans are encouraged to yell and throw things at the TV while watching. It's now a competitive sport in its own right.. Fact: In Canada, they take hockey so seriously that 'angry shots' could mean a slap shot or a beer can thrown in frustration. It's all in good fun, eh?.
• Headline: Out of Adversity, Visions of Life. Impact: Salif Diabagaté's persistence inspired a generation of artists who now believe that overcoming adversity is just a prerequisite for getting a record deal. Thanks, civil war!. Fact: Art thrives in adversity, but sometimes it’s just a fancy way of saying, 'I didn’t know what else to do when the world was falling apart.'.