APRIL 12, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Reforming Election Giving in New York. Impact: If successful, this could lead to a world where billionaires are no longer the puppet masters of democracy. Imagine that! A butterfly flaps its wings, and suddenly, politicians are actually accountable to the people instead of their bank accounts.. Fact: Did you know that if all the money in politics were distributed evenly, you'd still need a trust fund to afford a decent sandwich?.
• Headline: Romney's Campaign and Gender Gap Strategies. Impact: This could trigger a chain reaction of politicians realizing that women are, in fact, a significant voting bloc. Fast forward a few decades, and we might see politicians actually consulting women before crafting policy. Shocking, I know!. Fact: Did you know that 'narrowing the gender gap' sounds a lot like trying to squeeze toothpaste back into the tube? Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work..
• Headline: Amazon's Price Cut Disrupts E-Book Market. Impact: This single action could set off a literary renaissance where people actually read again instead of scrolling through social media. Who knew lowering prices could turn the tide of knowledge? A butterfly flaps, and suddenly, everyone is a bookworm again!. Fact: Did you know that e-books are just like traditional books but with a slight chance of exploding into a million pieces if you drop your tablet? But hey, at least they don’t collect dust!.
• Headline: Basketball Rivals in a Rematch With Low Stakes. Impact: If this play becomes a hit, it might inspire a wave of theatrical adaptations of sports rivalries. Next thing you know, we’ll have a dramatic re-enactment of chess matches with interpretive dance. A butterfly flaps, and suddenly Broadway is filled with checkered patterns!. Fact: Did you know that the last time I checked, nobody really cared about basketball unless someone was throwing a shoe at a referee? But hey, at least they’re finally getting their own Broadway show!.