APRIL 6, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring 'Magic City' and Its Era. Impact: The glamor of 'Magic City' inadvertently sparked a trend of mob-themed brunches across America. Who knew that mimosa-infused bagels could lead to a national crime wave? Cheers to that!. Fact: Did you know that Frank Sinatra once said, 'I feel sorry for people who don't drink'? Well, he probably felt sorry for people who didn't live in a mob-infested paradise either..
• Headline: Divorce Complicates Billionaire's Property Ventures. Impact: Dmitry Rybolovlev's divorce proceedings led to a complex web of international real estate disputes, which eventually resulted in the creation of a reality TV show called 'Divorced and Dealing,' featuring billionaires negotiating property over cocktails.. Fact: Fun fact: The average American divorce costs about $15,000. For billionaires, it's more like 'let's just buy a small country instead.'.
• Headline: Libraries in Residential Developments. Impact: The trend of adding libraries to residential buildings sparked a nationwide obsession with reading. Consequently, the average American now possesses more books than friends, leading to the rise of 'book clubs' that double as therapy sessions.. Fact: Sarcastically speaking, who needs an actual library when you have a Kindle? But hey, at least the in-house library gives you a place to hide from your neighbors!.
• Headline: Seen on the Shelves. Impact: With the emergence of in-house libraries, the book publishing industry momentarily flourished. However, it later crashed when residents realized they preferred binge-watching their 'in-house' Netflix series instead of reading.. Fact: Did you know that most people only read about 18% of a book before giving up? So, really, those residential libraries are just glorified storage units for unfinished novels..
• Headline: Low Growth in Earnings Is Expected. Impact: The slow growth in earnings set off a panic among analysts, who then began a year-long debate on whether they should actually predict something once in a while. Spoiler alert: They didn't.. Fact: Fun fact: The stock market historically grows at about 7% annually. So, if you ever feel like your earnings are slow, just remember: you're living in the financial equivalent of molasses..