APRIL 1, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kentucky Wildcats Triumph Over Louisville. Impact: The Wildcats' victory sparked a chain reaction of sports fandom, leading to the creation of countless sports bars where people argue about college basketball while ignoring their actual responsibilities. Thanks, Anthony Davis!. Fact: As if winning a game was enough, this match also ignited the annual debate: 'Is college basketball actually more exciting than the NBA?' Spoiler alert: It's not..
• Headline: Jayhawks Rally Past Buckeyes in Final Minutes. Impact: Kansas' comeback not only secured their spot in the championship game but also inspired a new trend of dramatic late-game recoveries in all sports, culminating in the invention of the 'comeback coach'—who does nothing but stress out players.. Fact: It's rumored that the Jayhawks' rally inspired a motivational poster that reads, 'Even when you’re losing, just pretend like you’re not!'.
• Headline: Aung San Suu Kyi's Political Rise. Impact: Daw Aung San Suu Kyi's political ascent created ripples that transformed Myanmar's political landscape, ultimately leading to an increase in global interest in democracy—though some are still confused about what that actually means.. Fact: Before entering politics, Suu Kyi spent years as a prisoner of the state, proving that sometimes, the best training for leadership comes from a cozy jail cell..
• Headline: U.S. Joins Effort to Equip and Pay Rebels in Syria. Impact: The U.S. decision to support rebels in Syria sent shockwaves through international relations, leading to a series of 'What could possibly go wrong?' moments that historians will delight in analyzing... or rolling their eyes at.. Fact: You know things are serious when the U.S. gets involved. It’s like the global equivalent of bringing your mom to a school fight..
• Headline: As Foreclosure Problems Persist, Fed Seeks More Fines. Impact: The Fed's crackdown on foreclosure practices was like a financial slap on the wrist, setting off a chain reaction of stricter regulations that made bankers feel like they were being asked to share their toys. Tough luck, guys!. Fact: The term 'foreclosure' was officially redefined to mean 'a fancy way to say you can’t pay your bills,' which really raises the stakes for those trying to impress their friends with adulting skills..