MARCH 29, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: JetBlue Flight Incident Sparks Screening Debate. Impact: This incident on JetBlue led to a new era of pilot screening protocols. Little did they know, it would eventually result in the invention of flight hats that could measure pilot sanity levels. Next up: emotional support pets in the cockpit.. Fact: Did you know that before psychological evaluations were a thing, pilots could pass their exams while casually juggling flaming swords? Just kidding, but it might as well have been that lax..
• Headline: Hollywood Facelift Project Sparks Controversy. Impact: The Hollywood facelift project sparked a series of increasingly ridiculous zoning laws. Eventually, Los Angeles became a patchwork of themed mini-cities, including a 'Jurassic Park' neighborhood where dinosaurs are actually just overzealous actors in costumes.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'mini-city' was originally coined to describe a toddler's playset? I guess they just decided to go big or go home..
• Headline: Frequent Disruptions in Stock Market Exchanges. Impact: The stock market breakdown on BATS Global Markets triggered a chain reaction of investor panic that culminated in a bizarre new trend of 'investment yoga.' Investors now meditate before making any trades to avoid market disruptions.. Fact: Did you know that the stock market is like a roller coaster? Fun until you find out you're not strapped in properly, and suddenly you're screaming..
• Headline: A Place in the Universe for a Daffy Musical. Impact: The endearing musical about the fate of dinosaurs led to a worldwide obsession with 'musicals about extinction.' This culminated in a Broadway hit titled 'The Last Woolly Mammoth,' which was both a crowd-pleaser and a tear-jerker.. Fact: Did you know that dinosaurs actually had a better sense of rhythm than most humans? They just didn't have a stage to showcase their talents—thankfully for us!.