MARCH 17, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Nature's Extremes in Frozen Planet. Impact: Funny how icebergs melting could lead to more eco-conscious hipsters in coffee shops discussing the plight of polar bears while sipping their oat milk lattes. Thanks, Frozen Planet!. Fact: Did you know that if all the ice in Antarctica melted, sea levels would rise about 200 feet? So, you know, just a casual Tuesday for humanity..
• Headline: California's Cello Festival Highlights Classical Revival. Impact: Ah, yes, the cello festival. Because nothing screams 'vitality' like a room full of people trying to out-pretentious each other over classical music. This sparked a renaissance in hipster culture, leading to a surge in artisanal cheese sales.. Fact: Did you know that the cello is the only instrument that sounds like a warm hug? No wonder everyone wants to hear it, especially while avoiding eye contact!.
• Headline: The Legacy of Gloria Steinem. Impact: Steinem's impact? It turns out that her resilience inspired a whole generation of women to not only find their voices but to yell into the void of social media, creating a cacophony of hashtags. You're welcome, internet!. Fact: Did you know that Gloria Steinem was born in 1934? That means she’s been fighting for women's rights longer than some of us have been alive! Talk about a commitment to the cause..
• Headline: Editor Not Ready to Write an Ending. Impact: Ah, the editor who refuses to retire. His stubbornness has led to a whole genre of 'What Not to Do When You’re an Editor' memes. Thanks to him, we now know that some people just can't take a hint!. Fact: Did you know that the average lifespan of an editor is about 10 years longer than their sanity? Just kidding, it’s usually just their patience that dies first..
• Headline: Artists Find Benefactors in Web Crowd. Impact: Crowd-sourcing for the arts? This revolutionary concept paved the way for countless cat videos to be funded, thus ensuring that future generations would have endless feline content to distract them from the apocalypse.. Fact: Did you know that crowd-funding has allowed people to finance everything from indie films to potato salad? Yes, potato salad. Truly, we live in a golden age of questionable priorities..