MARCH 6, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Digital Records May Increase Health Costs. Impact: The over-reliance on digital records led to a future where doctors became addicted to unnecessary tests, paving the way for a world where every ailment is treated with a $5,000 MRI and a side of skepticism.. Fact: In a twist of irony, paper records are now considered vintage—like vinyl records, but with fewer hipsters arguing about their authenticity..
• Headline: Ford Overhauls Touch Screens After Ratings Drop. Impact: Ford's touchscreen fiasco resulted in millions of frustrated drivers, ultimately leading to an underground market for 'Touchscreen Survival Kits' that included duct tape and a hammer.. Fact: Consumer Reports now recommends turning the Ford touchscreen on and off repeatedly, just like tech support has advised for decades. Who knew?.
• Headline: Exploring Albee's The Lady From Dubuque. Impact: Edward Albee's revival became the catalyst for existential crises worldwide, inspiring a generation to ponder their existence while simultaneously ignoring their laundry.. Fact: Albee's plays have been known to cause deep philosophical conversations, often leading to awkward silences and a sudden craving for pizza..
• Headline: At Tribe’s Door, a Hub of Beer and Heartache. Impact: The Oglala Sioux Tribe's lawsuit resulted in a surprising uptick in craft breweries in nearby areas, as hipsters flocked to the scene, blissfully unaware of the underlying issues.. Fact: Illegal alcohol consumption is just one of those things that makes you wonder if the phrase 'what happens in Whiteclay stays in Whiteclay' was ever really a good idea..
• Headline: Cato Institute Is Caught in a Rift Over Its Direction. Impact: Cato Institute's rift led to a dramatic shift in the libertarian landscape, with future scholars arguing whether Charles Koch's influence was akin to that of a benevolent overlord or a misguided deity.. Fact: The Cato Institute's internal debates have been known to rival family dinners during the holidays—everyone's opinionated, and no one leaves with their dignity intact..