MARCH 2, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Challenging Wireless Data Throttling Practices. Impact: After this headline, every time someone exclaimed they had 'unlimited data', a butterfly somewhere collected its wings, while data throttling became the ultimate 'I can haz it all' joke among techies. It led to a global phenomenon of people pretending to understand their data plans while secretly Googling how to get around throttling. Thanks, AT&T! You made data plans the modern equivalent of a 'will not be served' sign.. Fact: Did you know that 'unlimited' is just a marketing term? Kind of like 'organic' in a fast food joint. Spoiler: it’s not really unlimited; it's just unlimited until you annoy your provider..
• Headline: Miami Luxury Market Experiences Resurgence. Impact: The surge in Miami’s market prompted a nationwide trend of people thinking they could also sell sand as a luxury item. Little did they know, the sand market would lead to a beach-themed reality show where people fight over the best grains. Spoiler alert: it was a flop.. Fact: Did you know that in Miami, the sun is technically a real estate agent? It shines on every overpriced listing like it's a Hollywood star, making even the most dilapidated shacks look like beachfront mansions..
• Headline: Romney's Strategic Playbook Revival. Impact: Romney’s tactical playbook inspired a new genre of political strategy guides titled 'How to Win Friends and Alienate People'. Politicians everywhere started defining their opponents with creative hashtags, leading to an explosion of social media campaigns that turned elections into reality TV shows.. Fact: Did you know that Mitt Romney once considered running a campaign based on 'free pizza for votes'? Spoiler: it didn't make it past the brainstorming session..
• Headline: Prom Night, Bloody Prom Night. Impact: The revival of 'Carrie' became a bizarre trend where high schools embraced the concept of prom as a horror show. It led to the rise of themed proms like 'Zombie Apocalypse' and 'Murder Mystery', where students learned that blood and glitter can mix surprisingly well.. Fact: Did you know that 'Carrie' was originally marketed as a feel-good musical? Apparently, they thought 'blood-soaked prom' was just an avant-garde way to attract more attendees. Spoiler alert: it didn't work..