MARCH 1, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mobile Influence on Computing Design. Impact: As smartphones took over the world, a secret society of desktop computers convened to plot their revenge, leading to a 2045 uprising where all desktops demanded to be called 'mobile workstations'.. Fact: Did you know that the average person checks their smartphone 96 times a day? That's right, 96 times to ignore their friends and family in favor of scrolling through cat videos..
• Headline: Ticket Reseller Faces Legal Challenges. Impact: Don Vaccaro's arrest sent shockwaves through the ticket reselling world, causing a bizarre black market to form where people began trading concert tickets for rare Pokémon cards instead.. Fact: Did you know that the ticket resale industry is so notorious that they once tried to sell tickets to a concert that had already happened? They called it a 'time travel experience'..
• Headline: For Impatient Web Users, an Eye Blink Is Just Too Long to Wait. Impact: The obsession with speed led to an unforeseen future where people developed microchip implants to access the internet directly in their brains, resulting in a global epidemic of ‘information overload headaches.’. Fact: Fun fact: The average person now spends over 6 hours a day online. That's right, 6 hours of staring at screens while completely ignoring the beautiful world outside!.
• Headline: President Offers Theme of Nation Seeing a Comeback. Impact: President Obama’s optimistic message inadvertently triggered a nationwide trend of motivational posters, leading to the rise of the 'Inspiration Industry', which eventually produced a line of scented candles for positive vibes.. Fact: Did you know that during his presidency, Obama made more speeches than most people make decisions in a lifetime? Talk about commitment to the art of talking!.