FEBRUARY 5, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Families of Killers Share Untold Stories. Impact: As the families of killers bravely step out of the shadows, their candid stories spark a nationwide trend of therapy sessions that lead to the invention of a new genre of reality TV: 'Families of the Felons.' This inadvertently results in a surge of amateur psychologists, leading to a society where everyone thinks they're qualified to analyze their neighbor's irrational fear of garden gnomes.. Fact: Did you know that family reunions for these folks probably include awkward silences and a lot of explaining? 'So, Uncle Bob, what do you do for a living?' 'Oh, you know, I just try to forget my brother is a serial killer.'.
• Headline: Egyptian Trial Contrasts U.S. Relations. Impact: Egypt's trial for 19 Americans sends shockwaves through diplomatic circles, leading to a global trend of countries trying to 'one-up' each other with legal dramas. This results in the establishment of a new international court where nations battle it out over who has the most ridiculous laws.. Fact: Did you know that this trial was the first time Americans learned that 'foreign financing' doesn't just mean sending money to a vacation home in the Bahamas? Turns out, it can also mean a lot of paperwork and really uncomfortable phone calls!.
• Headline: Sloan-Kettering Chief Is Accused of Taking Research. Impact: The Sloan-Kettering chief's dispute sparks a wave of research theft accusations across the medical field, leading to the creation of a new profession: 'Research Integrity Auditors.' By the year 2030, these auditors become more famous than the researchers themselves, resulting in a bizarre reality show about 'who stole the data.'. Fact: Did you know that in the world of medical research, accusations can often be more scandalous than the actual findings? It's like a soap opera, but with more lab coats and fewer dramatic cliffhangers..
• Headline: Whatever You Desire, My Duchess. Impact: The Duchess of Windsor's biography and Scotty Bowers' memoir create a renaissance of interest in royal scandals and Hollywood secrets. This leads to the creation of 'Duchess Parties,' where everyone wears tiaras and shares the juiciest gossip, all while sipping cocktails named after infamous scandals.. Fact: Did you know that reading about the Duchess's desires could lead to a serious case of envy? I mean, who wouldn't want to trade their mundane life for one filled with jewels, scandal, and an endless supply of quirky characters?.