JANUARY 30, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kiwanuka's Heart Tied to Uganda. Impact: If Mathias Kiwanuka had chosen to stay in Uganda instead of returning for the Super Bowl, the NFL might have had to expand its horizons, leading to a new league called the 'Ugandan Football League' where players juggle flaming torches while tackling each other. Who wouldn't want to watch that?. Fact: Did you know Mathias Kiwanuka's grandfather was a historic figure? Because nothing screams 'legend' like a family reunion over a football game..
• Headline: Rupert Murdoch's Unfiltered Twitter Era. Impact: Rupert Murdoch's Twitter rants led to a chain reaction where every CEO suddenly thought they were the next Hemingway, resulting in a flood of cringe-worthy tweets about their breakfast choices that still haunt the internet.. Fact: Did you know that Murdoch's tweets caused a surge in social media managers' therapy bills? Apparently, dealing with his rants is not part of the job description..
• Headline: U.S. Drone Surveillance Sparks Controversy in Iraq. Impact: The outrage in Iraq over U.S. drones made everyone rethink their vacation plans, leading to a boom in time travel tourism to the 18th century where the most dangerous thing was a bad haircut.. Fact: Did you know that the first drone was actually a modified toy plane? So, in a way, we've all been living in a really violent children's playtime..
• Headline: BlackBerry Under Siege in Europe. Impact: BlackBerry's struggles in Europe prompted the rise of smartphone addiction, leading to a future where people are so glued to their screens that they forget how to use a doorknob. Spoiler alert: doorknobs win.. Fact: Did you know that at one point, BlackBerry was considered the 'businessman's phone'? Now it’s more like the 'what-were-they-thinking' phone..
• Headline: Defying Gravity With Creativity. Impact: Wall trampoline became so popular that it eventually sparked a new Olympic sport, causing debates about whether it should be categorized under gymnastics or extreme sports. Spoiler: it’s all in the landing.. Fact: Did you know that wall trampoline is the only sport where falling flat on your face is considered a valid form of artistic expression? Talk about a unique talent!.