JANUARY 14, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Directors Compete at Sundance Festival. Impact: As Spike Lee and Stephen Frears struggle to find an audience, they accidentally inspire a new generation of filmmakers who decide to shoot their movies in their parents' basements, leading to a surge in indie films that could only be described as 'artistic expressions of existential dread.'. Fact: Fun fact: Sundance was originally a place where people just went to ski. Now it’s where dreams go to die...or get optioned by Netflix..
• Headline: The Evolution of Porgy and Bess. Impact: By streamlining 'Porgy and Bess,' a secret cabal of theater directors accidentally set off a chain reaction that led to the birth of TikTok operas, which are now performed exclusively by cats and feature no actual singing.. Fact: Did you know that 'Porgy and Bess' was originally criticized for being too long? Now it’s considered a 'short opera' if it’s under three hours..
• Headline: Napoleon Dynamite Animated Series Launch. Impact: 'Napoleon Dynamite' becoming an animated series convinces studios that literally any cult classic can be remade, resulting in a bizarre era where we see 'The Big Lebowski' as a soap opera and 'Pulp Fiction' as a cooking show.. Fact: Did you know that 'Napoleon Dynamite' was originally a short film? Now it’s just a long series of awkward pauses and absurdities stretched into infinity..
• Headline: Beneath a Deeply Silly Campaign, a Deeply Serious Performer. Impact: Colbert's satirical approach to politics encourages comedians worldwide to run for office, resulting in a global trend where the most absurd candidates are elected, leading to a world where the only serious political discussions happen in late-night comedy shows.. Fact: Did you know that Stephen Colbert's campaign was so serious that it became a meme? And now, memes are the new political parties..