JANUARY 7, 2012

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pentagon Probes Film on Bin Laden Raid. Impact: This film not only sparked a Pentagon investigation but also led to a secret society of Hollywood filmmakers who now think they can get away with anything, including making sequels that are worse than the originals. Thanks, CIA!. Fact: Did you know that the CIA has been involved in various Hollywood productions? Yes, because nothing screams 'trust us' like a government agency trying to control the narrative through movies!.
• Headline: A Billionaire Lends Haiti a Hand. Impact: Denis O’Brien's investment in Haiti sparked a trend of billionaires thinking they could be the saviors of nations, leading to an annual 'Billionaires to the Rescue' convention where they discuss their favorite impoverished countries to 'help.'. Fact: Did you know that 'helping' often means 'I need a tax break'? Nothing says philanthropy like saving the world with a side of personal gain!.
• Headline: Dolan Elevated as Pope Names New Cardinals. Impact: Archbishop Dolan’s elevation as cardinal not only solidified his influence but also inspired countless memes about the Catholic Church, leading to a renaissance of sarcasm in religious commentary.. Fact: Did you know that becoming a cardinal is basically the church's version of leveling up in a video game? Next stop: Papacy, where the challenges get even tougher!.