DECEMBER 29, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Weapons Sales to Iraq Progress. Impact: The U.S. selling weapons to Iraq was like giving a toddler a bazooka. It led to a series of power struggles that would eventually make Game of Thrones look like a friendly tea party. Thanks to those weapons, the region saw more chaos, which in turn inspired multiple TV shows and movies about dystopian futures—because nothing says entertainment like actual suffering.. Fact: Did you know that Nuri Kamal al-Maliki's power consolidation efforts were so effective that they made 'consolidation' the new buzzword in every corporate merger discussion? Talk about a legacy!.
• Headline: Young Women Pursue Education Over Employment. Impact: As young women flocked to schools instead of jobs, they unintentionally triggered a global debate about gender roles in the workforce. This led to a surge in memes about men in sweatpants and women dominating higher education—clearly a sign that the universe has a sense of humor.. Fact: Fun fact: The number of women in higher education has skyrocketed, prompting men everywhere to consider their next big move—like starting a podcast about their 'struggles' in the workplace..
• Headline: Youth Protests Challenge Mayor Jean Quan. Impact: Mayor Jean Quan getting burned by youthful protestors was the start of a trend where every mayor in America had to look over their shoulder, wondering if the next TikTok challenge would include them. This has led to mayors becoming social media influencers, trying to win over the youth instead of actually governing. Just imagine the hashtags!. Fact: Did you know that Jean Quan's experience with protests turned her into a meme? Because nothing says 'effective governance' like becoming a viral sensation for all the wrong reasons..
• Headline: City Schools Missing Out on Aid for Special Needs. Impact: The failure to recover Medicaid reimbursements for special-needs students was a classic case of government inefficiency. It set off a chain reaction where other cities looked at New York and said, 'Hold my beer,' and promptly followed suit, making the phrase 'lost funds' an ironic motto for city budgets everywhere.. Fact: Did you know that New York City’s financial blunders have inspired workshops on 'How Not to Handle Money'? It's the most attended event every year—because, apparently, nobody learns from mistakes..
• Headline: Oil Prices Predicted to Stay Above $100 a Barrel Through Next Year. Impact: With oil prices predicted to stay high, it wasn't long before conspiracy theorists suggested that oil companies had a secret pact with aliens to keep prices up—because obviously, extraterrestrials need a lot of gas for their intergalactic joyrides. This led to a spike in UFO sightings, all because of our obsession with oil.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time oil prices were this high, people considered walking to work as a 'green initiative'—and by 'green initiative,' I mean they just couldn't afford gas..