DECEMBER 17, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: McQueary's Testimony in Sandusky Case. Impact: McQueary's testimony sent shockwaves through the sports world, leading to a chain reaction that resulted in the downfall of Penn State's football program. If only someone had thought to invent accountability sooner, we might have avoided this little mess.. Fact: Did you know that the fallout from this scandal was so intense it could have powered a small city? Or maybe just a very angry mob armed with pitchforks..
• Headline: Stanford Withdraws New York Graduate School Plans. Impact: Stanford's decision to abandon its New York arm left Cornell delighted and led to a fierce rivalry that resulted in a much more dramatic admissions process. Who knew academia could get so juicy?. Fact: Fun fact: Stanford could have named their New York campus 'Stanford East,' but they opted to save the world from yet another boring college name. You're welcome, New York..
• Headline: Pollock Painting Dispute at Knoedler Gallery. Impact: The Pollock dispute turned the art world upside down, causing collectors to wonder if their masterpieces were actually just glorified paint splatters. Thanks, Knoedler Gallery, for the existential crisis.. Fact: Did you know that Pollock's paintings are so abstract that even the artist might have been confused about what they meant? That's art for you: a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a canvas..
• Headline: Amazon Says Long Term And Means It. Impact: Amazon's long-term strategy led to a shopping revolution where people now expect two-day shipping. Little did they know, this would also lead to the rise of the 'I've-shopped-so-much-I-forgot-what-I-bought' phenomenon.. Fact: Did you know that Jeff Bezos once said he wanted to be the 'everything store'? Little did he know, that also included your future regrets about impulse buys..
• Headline: Nonprofit Companies Enjoying, Well, Profits. Impact: The success of nonprofit companies in the arts sector created a paradox where they actually made profits while claiming to be 'nonprofit.' This led to a slew of confused accountants and existential crises among the non-profit community.. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'nonprofit' is just a suggestion. If they can make money while putting on a show, who are we to judge? Welcome to the theater of the absurd!.