OCTOBER 30, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Dreams for Iowa Farmland. Impact: The investment group's ambitious plans for an indoor baseball center spawn a generation of aspiring athletes who, ironically, end up in tech start-ups, forever changing the landscape of Silicon Valley. And yes, they still can't hit a curveball.. Fact: Did you know that the original film shot in that Iowa farmland had more plot holes than a slice of Swiss cheese? But who cares about the plot when you have a baseball field, right?.
• Headline: Exploring Jersey Shore in Academic Circles. Impact: The academic study of 'Jersey Shore' leads to the establishment of a new field: 'Reality TV Dynamics,' which eventually inspires politicians to adopt reality show tactics, forever altering the course of political debates.. Fact: Did you know that scholars debating 'Jersey Shore' is basically like discussing existentialism with cats? Both are entertaining, but no one really knows if anything meaningful comes out of it..
• Headline: Titans Clash Over a Mere Cadenza. Impact: The split between Grimaud and Abbado ignites a worldwide movement within classical music to replace cadenza with interpretive dance, leading to the most bewildering concerts ever witnessed.. Fact: Did you know that artistic differences in classical music often stem from disagreements over who gets the last donut in the green room? Truly, the real tragedy of the arts..
• Headline: Comedy Troupe Delivers Its Second New York Baby. Impact: The expansion of the Upright Citizens Brigade inadvertently leads to a national shortage of laughter, causing a rise in serious, moody dramas that confuse audiences everywhere.. Fact: Did you know that every new outpost of UCB is actually a secret laboratory for perfecting the art of improvisation? They say laughter is the best medicine, but they might be onto something even crazier..