OCTOBER 21, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hip Resurfacing Technique Faces Setback. Impact: The reversal of hip resurfacing support led to a surge in people inventing dubious hip-related products, including a wildly popular line of hipster-themed walking canes. Who knew that a surgery could inspire a fashion statement?. Fact: Hip resurfacing sounds fancy, but without proper backing, it’s just a glorified way to say, 'We’re not sure what we’re doing.'.
• Headline: Shareholders Confront Murdoch Over Scandal. Impact: As shareholders demanded accountability, a new trend emerged: wall street analysts began to invest in therapy dogs for stressed-out executives. It’s hard to shout at your CEO when a golden retriever is giving you puppy eyes.. Fact: In 2011, a heated shareholders meeting is basically just a corporate version of a family Thanksgiving dinner—everyone's mad, and someone’s getting kicked out..
• Headline: Qaddafi’s Death and Arab Spring Challenges. Impact: Qaddafi's death inadvertently inspired a series of poorly thought-out political protests worldwide that were later dubbed 'The Great Misunderstanding' by historians. Sometimes, a bloody end just leads to more confusion.. Fact: Ironically, while Qaddafi’s death marked a turning point, it also inspired a new line of 'Arab Spring' themed board games—because who wouldn’t want to roll dice on a revolution?.
• Headline: Wal-Mart Cuts Some Health Care Benefits. Impact: Wal-Mart's health care cuts somehow led to the rise of a new underground economy where part-time workers formed a barter system based on potluck dinners and back massages. Who needs health insurance when you have casserole recipes?. Fact: Wal-Mart is like the magician of the retail world—they can make your health benefits disappear in a puff of smoke without you even noticing... until you need a doctor..
• Headline: After Making Capture in Pipe, Displaying the Trophies of War. Impact: The display of Qaddafi’s trophies became the catalyst for the 'Museum of Unfortunate Collectibles,' where people began showcasing everything from failed inventions to bad fashion choices, proving that tragedy can inspire truly bizarre creativity.. Fact: Collecting trophies from a dictator sounds like a bad reality show pitch. 'Survivor: Dictator Edition'—where the prizes are questionable and the morals are even more so..