OCTOBER 16, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rangers Return to World Series Glory. Impact: If the Rangers hadn't stormed back into the World Series, Texas might have become the world's largest barbecue joint instead of a baseball state. Imagine the alternate timeline where brisket reigns supreme over home runs!. Fact: Did you know that in an alternate universe, the Rangers' success led to an intergalactic baseball league? They are currently undefeated against the Glorpz from Zeta Reticuli!.
• Headline: Exploring 21st-Century Music Festival. Impact: This festival of 21st-century music inadvertently sparked a global movement where people began to interpret the sounds of the 21st century as a new language. Now, if you whistle the right tune, you might just summon a hipster.. Fact: Fun fact: '21st-century music' is just the avant-garde way of saying 'I don’t understand what’s playing but it sounds important!'.
• Headline: Art and News: American Taste 1830-1860. Impact: This exhibition opened a Pandora's box of taste debates, leading to the Great Art War of 2040, where people argued over whether abstract art was actually just a spilled can of paint. Who knew that art could be so… polarizing?. Fact: Did you know that before paint was applied, people just stared blankly at walls? You can thank art for the invention of the 'What's on your mind?' small talk!.