OCTOBER 10, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Jets Fall Short Against Patriots in Tough Match. Impact: The Jets' loss led to a nationwide epidemic of couch potato-ism, as fans collectively decided to stay home and binge-watch shows instead of going to games. This resulted in the invention of snack-flavored yoga pants.. Fact: Did you know that the Jets have lost more games against the Patriots than any other team? They should really consider hiring a time traveler to change their past..
• Headline: Banks Face Earnings Crisis Amid Protests. Impact: The banks' anticipated fallout led to a surge in conspiracy theories about how they secretly control the weather, which eventually resulted in a bizarre trend of people blaming rain on their bank's bad decisions.. Fact: Did you know that banks are often called the 'cornerstone of the economy'? So when they wobble, the whole thing feels like it's about to topple over – kind of like that tower of Jenga you thought was a good idea after a few drinks..
• Headline: Recession Officially Over, U.S. Incomes Kept Falling. Impact: The announcement of the recession's end without income improvement set off a series of memes that mocked the concept of 'economic recovery,' leading to a generation of sarcastic social media influencers who became the unofficial spokespeople for disappointment.. Fact: Isn't it fascinating that the recession officially ended, yet incomes kept falling? It’s like declaring a party over while everyone is still stuck in the corner trying to figure out how to leave without looking like a loser..
• Headline: Labor Talks in Detroit Go Social. Impact: Labor talks going social led to the widespread adoption of hashtags in negotiations, which ultimately resulted in a new etiquette for workplace discussions: 'If it’s not trending, are you even negotiating?'. Fact: Did you know that social media can speed up labor talks? Just imagine a world where you can negotiate your salary through memes and GIFs – 'I want a raise, but only if it’s as good as this cat falling off a table.'.