SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Boeing Plant Bill Expected to Pass. Impact: The passage of this bill led to a series of labor disputes in the future, resulting in a bizarre twist where workers started forming unions for even the most absurd jobs, like professional couch potato. Thanks, Boeing!. Fact: Did you know that the National Labor Relations Board once tried to ban union meetings in the break room because they were 'too loud'? It's true! Unions just can't catch a break!.
• Headline: Rising Islamist Influence in Libya. Impact: The rise of Islamists in Libya led to a global trend where political factions started marketing themselves as 'best-organized' just to sound good on social media, sparking a whole new genre of political influencer.. Fact: Fun fact: Muammar el-Qaddafi once claimed to have invented a new form of democracy called 'Direct Democracy', which just meant he spoke a lot and everyone else had to listen. Quite the innovator!.
• Headline: Turner's Congressional Aspirations Unfold. Impact: Bob Turner's desire to stay in Congress inspired a new generation of politicians who, rather than serving the public, now just camp out in the Capitol with snacks and Netflix, declaring their own 'perpetual terms'.. Fact: Bob Turner was 70 when he was elected—making him the youngest member of Congress in the 'senior citizen trying to reclaim their youth' demographic!.
• Headline: Seeing Ripple in Jewish Vote. Impact: The shifting Jewish vote ultimately resulted in a bizarre 'political musical chairs' game every election year, where candidates scrambled to appease various factions until they all just agreed to dance around each other instead.. Fact: Republicans believing they can win the Jewish vote is like thinking you can win at Monopoly by just collecting all the railroads. It's cute, but it's not how it works!.
• Headline: Automakers and U.A.W. Still Talking. Impact: The ongoing negotiations between automakers and the U.A.W. eventually led to an annual ‘Talk-a-thon’ where all parties involved just got together and talked about talking, rather than actually coming to any agreements.. Fact: The U.A.W. once proposed a contract that included mandatory nap breaks during work hours. It was a hit with the employees but promptly rejected by management. Because who needs productivity, right?.