SEPTEMBER 14, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Familiar Tax Proposals Resurface in Jobs Bill. Impact: This tax plan's echo reverberated through the ages, prompting a new generation of conspiracy theorists who believed the rich were actually hiding their gold in Swiss yodeling camps.. Fact: If you put all the proposals for taxing the rich in one room, they'd probably just end up arguing over who gets the last slice of pizza..
• Headline: Target's Missoni Launch Causes Website Outage. Impact: The Missoni for Target line's web crash inspired future fashion brands to release exclusive collections with a side of server crashes, leading to a new career path: digital traffic controllers for online sales.. Fact: This was the first time people were more excited about shopping than actually wearing clothes - who knew fashion could be so... virtual?.
• Headline: U.S. Scrambles to Avert Palestinian Vote at U.N.. Impact: The scramble to avert the Palestinian vote led to a series of diplomatic maneuverings that eventually inspired a popular board game: 'Dodge the Diplomat!' - now available at a store near you.. Fact: This situation is a classic example of how trying to avoid one conflict can lead to several others - like trying to avoid stepping on a crack and ending up in a full-blown sidewalk war..
• Headline: Abuse of Xanax Leads a Clinic to Halt Supply. Impact: The cessation of Xanax prescriptions initiated a long chain of events, leading to the invention of stress balls that were also scented like lavender and marketed as 'mental wellness therapy' - because nothing says therapy like squeezing a squishy ball.. Fact: This is what happens when you mix anxiety with a lack of Xanax: the rise of yoga and meditation, which could possibly lead to people actually enjoying their own company..