SEPTEMBER 13, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Merkel's Eurozone Decision Dilemma. Impact: If Merkel had chosen differently, we might be living in a Euro-free utopia where everyone barters with artisanal cheeses instead of euros. Who knew cheese could save the economy?. Fact: Did you know that Angela Merkel once studied quantum chemistry? Maybe she thought she could apply those principles to Eurozone stability... Spoiler: she couldn't..
• Headline: Tech Blogger's Split from AOL. Impact: Michael Arrington leaving AOL could have triggered a chain reaction leading to the rise of influencer culture. Imagine a world where cats didn’t become internet royalty because of some tech blogger's vendetta!. Fact: Did you know AOL was once the king of the internet? Now it’s more like the old uncle who still uses dial-up at family gatherings..
• Headline: Investors Shift Focus Away from European Banks. Impact: The shunning of European banks by investors may have led to an unexpected boom in mattress manufacturing. Who knew that fear could fuel the bedding industry?. Fact: Did you know that in the 2008 financial crisis, people actually started hiding money in their mattresses? Good luck getting that back if your bed gets a makeover!.
• Headline: Libya’s War-Tested Women Hope to Keep New Power. Impact: The empowerment of Libyan women post-revolution might have sparked a global quest for gender equality, leading to the eventual rise of women in leadership roles everywhere. Who knew a war could be a catalyst for change?. Fact: Did you know that during the Libyan Civil War, women took on combat roles? Talk about breaking the glass ceiling with a rocket launcher!.
• Headline: Darkness Around the Spotlight. Impact: The revival of 'Follies' could have led to a renaissance in musical theater, inspiring countless musicals about the mundane lives of politicians. Who doesn't want to see a tap-dancing senator?. Fact: Did you know that 'Follies' originally premiered in 1971? Clearly, nostalgia is the only thing keeping Broadway alive these days!.